My Worst Fear
by LadyStarling
Summary: Serena is 27 when she gets some news from the doctor that makes her deal with things she never thought she would have to. A short story. Each chapter is a month in Serena's life.
1. July

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**July:**

Serena stepped from the quiet, sterile, white buzz of the doctor's office into the deafening cacophonous bustle of the Tokyo street. For a moment she stood blinking in the doorway, tempted to retreat back into the waiting room. She could run back in, and hide like a rabbit in its burrow. She could just sit there and never have to face the world again; she could just wait for life to pass her by.

But she couldn't.

The blonde stepped out of the doorstep's shadows and struggled through the throngs of people toward the street corner. She raised her hand to hail a cab only to let it fall limply back to her side.

"I should walk." She murmured, somewhat comforted by the sound of her voice. "Walking is good for you." Serena stood still for a moment, staring blankly at her feet, before she allowed the push of the crowd to carry her along.

She didn't think about the distance that she would have to walk to get back to her office, or how her new pair of Monolo Blahniks would fair after a walk like that. She didn't think about how her legs would protest. She didn't think about anyone worrying over her whereabouts. She didn't think. She simply allowed herself to be carried down the street with the flow of people.

She didn't think.

She just enjoyed being inconspicuous among millions of people. She just enjoyed being someone that didn't deserve pity, envy, or awe. She just enjoyed being a no one.

* * *

The sun was drooping low over the cherry trees, when the pigtailed blonde finally stopped wandering. She sat on the end of a wooden pier that stretched out into the park's lake; her purse and pumps abandoned on the wood behind her. The glassy lake reflected the brilliance of the sunset back up to the sky, but the blonde on the pier was already in shadows. 

Serena sighed.

She felt strangely disconnected, as though her spirit had severed all ties with her body.

The doctor had told her to think about her options, but no matter what she chose the end result would be the same. No matter what she chose life would never be the same. In away it was alright, if everything ended up the same then she wouldn't have to think long on her options, and she couldn't seem to direct her mind anyway.

Serena was twenty-seven. She had graduated from college, a feat that still had some of her friends in shock, with a degree in architecture. Now she was one of the up and coming young architects in Tokyo because she managed to blend the traditional Japanese culture with modern comfort.

The blonde smiled, thinking about one of her favorite professors. He had once said, "You'll know that you've made it when you have so many people after you that you can choose what you want to do." He had winked at Serena and added, "And you have really made it when you can afford to make a few people angry."

Serena had really made it. One of her houses had recently been pictured in an international magazine, the article had mentioned that the

Not only was her career racing forward but every other aspect of her life seemed to be just as glamorous. She had a spacious two bedroom apartment which she had decorated herself; in Serena's signature fashion in blended the traditional, over the top, luxury of a geisha's apartment with the comfort and style of a western penthouse apartment. She also had a giant walk-in closet which was brimming with designer clothing and shoes. She even had a sleek blue Porsche which she drove when ever she had to go out of town. Serena's social calendar was packed with exclusive parties, art viewings, concerts, plays, and premiers. To top it all off, her fiancé, Darien Sheilds, was a political marvel. Yes, Serena Tsukino had a life that anyone would envy.

Or, at least on the surface, Serena Tsukino had a life that anyone would envy.

Secretly, Serena was Tokyo's favorite heroine, Sailor Moon. She fought for love and justice with her Sailor Scouts. Lately, however, it had become increasingly difficult for everyone to fight together. It seemed as though they had all been fighting separately. And now Serena had received earth shattering news from her doctor.

"Bunny?"

The blonde turned to see her friend walking toward her.

"Bunny, why haven't you been answering your phone? We have been worried sick about you!"

"I'm sorry Ami."

Ami Mizuno was a petit woman, only a few inches taller than her blonde friend, with dark blue hair that she kept in a short bob. She had the slightly thin, sleep deprived look of a new doctor; as though she hadn't quite had time to catch up on all of the sleep she missed during her residency.

"We missed you at lunch today, Bunny." Ami said quietly, as she sat down next to her friend.

"I know."

Every week on Thursday afternoon Serena met her friends, and fellow Sailor Scouts, for lunch. They had done this ever since college, when they began to have less time. Sometimes their lunch was the only time that the whole group got together during the week.

"I had a meeting with a client. I thought I told Raye?"

Ami nodded. They both knew it was a lame excuse, but there was nothing more to say about it.

"We called your office. They said that you didn't go back after lunch."

Serena nodded. "It went... badly."

Ami's face fell in horror, her quiet reprimand forgotten. "Oh! I'm sorry, Bunny! Do you want to talk about it?"

The blonde shook her head, thinking back to her doctor's appointment, the real reason why she had missed lunch. "It will be fine, Ami. I'm just going to have to deal with something that I didn't think I would have to deal with for awhile." Serena made an effort to turn her head and smile reassuringly at her friend.

There was a pause as the two women sat together in silence.

"Well..." Ami started to speak, but changed her mind with a shake of her head. "Buck up!" She said with a smile. "We are all going out to eat for dinner." Ami scrambled up. "Mina insists that she had great news, but she refuses to tell us if you aren't there as well."

The young doctor retrieved Serena's shoes and purse while the blonde stood up and brushed off her Prada dress.

"Just leave work behind today." Ami admonished playfully. "And turn your phone on!"


	2. October

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**October:**

Serena was sitting on a stool in her kitchen staring at the blinking light on her answering machine. She didn't want to listen to the messages, but she needed to. She reached down to press play.

After a moment's hesitation Serena stood up and walked away.

She turned on her stereo, and walked into her studio. There were so many designs in her head that she just had to get out. The studio was the messiest room in Serena's apartment. Sketch books and giant blue prints covered nearly every surface of the room, but even in all of the disarray there was something calm and organized. And there was something sick and hidden.

A small glass table was set in a shadowed corner of the room. It seemed as though both light and the playful disorder struggled to reach the corner, but died away before they managed it.

A neat stack of books sat on the table; a black bound law book, a medical reference, a pink photo album, and an address book. A set of letters sat in their envelopes next to the pile of books, waiting to be addressed. On top of it all was a stack of legal sized papers.

Every couple of minutes Serena would look up from the design she was working on, and spend a moment staring into the shadows. She would shake her head and return to her design, but no matter how hard she tried to ignore the little glass table the darkness kept pulling her gaze to it. Finally, the blonde stood. She walked over to the table and picked up the legal papers, before continuing out of the studio into her kitchen.

Serena dropped the papers onto the counter next to the answering machine, and perched herself on a stool.

She pressed play.

"Hey Serena. This is Raye. We missed you at lunch this week. I'm just calling to say that you really need to put us into your schedule. It is getting a bit annoying."

Beep.

"Bunny! This is Mina. Ami and I are going to a party tonight; we were just calling to see if you wanted to go… Your secretary said you were free tonight. Call me back."

Beep.

"Serena? Where are you?"

Beep.

"Hi Bunny. It is Ami. We missed you at lunch again this week; Raye wants to do dinner at Lita's restaurant. Call me back if you can make it."

Beep.

They went on messages from her friends and family, people wondering where she had been. Serena just sat there listening to the messages staring at the legal papers until the words across the top began to blur and tears coursed down her face. She slumped over on the counter and began to sob into her arms.

That's how he found her.

Strong arms wrapped around her, stroking her hair. "Baby?"

Serena looked up into the crystal blue eyes of her fiancé, Darien Sheilds. She immediately moved to cling to the man, crying on his white shirt front, unable to do anything but sob.

Darien had always been good looking, and at thirty-three he hadn't lost an ounce of his dark, mysterious charm. It was that charm that had made him an exceptional lawyer, and was now making him an amazing politician. It was that charm that Serena had once fallen in love with.

Darien seemed to realize that his fiancé would not be able to articulate what she was crying about yet, so he gently gathered the petit blonde in his arms. He turned to take Serena over to the couch when the legal papers on the counter caught his eye.

Darien stood there, paralyzed by the words on the page.

Last Will and Testament.

He didn't need to ask who's will it was. Serena's name was printed boldly at the top, and her beautiful signature graced the bottom of the first page. "Baby..." He felt the words catch in his throat and he had to clear it. "Baby, why do you have your will here?" He said it more gruffly that he had intended, but tears prickled his eyes at the thought of losing the love of his life.

"Baby, why do you have your will here?"

He tried to consol himself. He had made Serena make a will when she turned twenty, and he had been bothering her to update it for months now. Surely she had just taken his words to heart. Surely it was just a coincidence that she was crying by her will. Surely nothing bad could happen to her.

"Bunny, it is Ami. I know what is going on. What you are doing isn't healthy, Serena. Please, just call me back."

Darien shifted Serena a bit to stop the answering machine. She was still shaking and sobbing onto his shoulder, but her shaking was less violent and her sobs no longer racked her whole body.

"She... She thinks I'm... anorexic."

Darien looked down, surprised. He had noticed that Serena was losing weight rapidly, and she was frighteningly light in his arms. "Are you?"

Serena sniffed and turned her teary eyes up to meet her fiancé's, "Of course not!" She sounded insulted, but at least she had stopped crying.

"Good." Darien sat down on the couch. He shifted around a bit so that Serena would be more comfortable, lying across him with her head on his shoulder. "I would hate to take you out to eat tonight only to find that you have stopped eating."

There was a pause before Serena spoke cautiously. "Do we have to go out tonight?"

"No. We don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought that you would like to go out with your friends tonight. They miss you." Darien had been receiving worried calls from Serena's friends for the last week while he was out of town, he was glad that he had come over as soon as he got back. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Darien turned his head to softly kiss Serena.

"We could just stay here if you want." Darien said. Serena's tears had been replaced by a soft, wistful smile that he just couldn't say no to.

"I would like that."

* * *

Darien was about to leave when he saw the papers on the kitchen counter again. 

Serena was throwing out the Chinese takeout containers in the living room. So Darien walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and leaned down to kiss her neck.

"I see you finally took my advice on updating you will. I'm proud of you, baby."

She turned in his arms, tears in her eyes again, and Darien knew in an instant that he was wrong. He knew that he didn't want to know what was wrong; he knew that he would do anything to stop time so that they could stay in each other's arms forever. He pulled Serena closer, so that her arms went around his waist and her head rested on his chest, and hugged her.

"I've got cancer." She said quietly.

Darien felt as though some one had punched him in the stomach; his breath left him, his heart constricted painfully, and tears welled up in his eyes. "We'll fight it." He said, it came out strangled.

He felt her shake her head. "I don't have anymore options, Darien."

"What about Chemo? And they can give you drugs and… and do surgery now. We can fight it. We can win!" Darien grasped at anything to prevent her from leaving him.

"I did."

Darien blinked. He sank down onto the couch. "I don't understand."

Serena bit her lip, considering what she could do. She had never been good at being the strong one in their relationship, but it seemed like this time she would have to be. The blonde perched herself on the couch next to Darien, and took his hands in hers. For a moment she sat there, staring at their interlocked hands; his clutching hers, hers clutching his.

"I found out two years ago." She looked up into his eyes and tried to smile. "I couldn't imagine that I could die; I mean, no one ever thinks that it could happen to her. So I didn't want to worry anyone, I thought I would take my chemo and that would be the end of it. I didn't lose my hair, and Ami wasn't around enough to figure it out."

"But chemo didn't work. Then a year ago I went on a long trip... I said there was I house I was designing in the US. Remember?"

Darien nodded. He had been upset that he wouldn't get to see Serena for a whole month, the thought that she would move to the US and leave him had made him propose when she got back.

"I had surgery in Houston, Texas." Serena's smile faltered. "It is amazing there, I would really love to go back one day. But I don't think anything can compare to the beauty of the cherry trees blooming in the spring."

"We thought that the surgery went well. They said they got it all. I thought it was over, and then you proposed and I didn't want to spoil it with worry. So I didn't mention it. Then in July we found out that it was back, and now we know that there really isn't anything they can do... It is too advanced. So..." Serena trailed off.

"So you are dying."

The blonde nodded, tears welling up in her eyes again. "I'm sorry." She pulled her hands out of Darien's and slipped off her engagement ring. "I know you probably want this back. I couldn't ask you to marry me now." Serena bit her lip to keep from crying as she dropped the diamond ring onto Darien's palm.

Darien blinked, and stared at the ring on his hand. Somehow he was aware that she was letting him out of the pain, hoping to make it better for him. She thought that if he didn't marry her he couldn't be so heartbroken when she died. In a way she was right.

"No you couldn't." Darien said quietly. "That's why you aren't asking." Darien gently slipped the ring back on to Serena's finger.

In a way she was right. What she didn't understand was that he would be more heartbroken when she died if he abandoned her now.

"Serena, I have loved you from the moment I first set eyes on you. I loved everything about you. I love you in a way that is greater than this world, or the next. And you are the only woman that I will ever feel this way about. So even if I tried I couldn't stop loving you just because you have cancer."

Serena's face moved from upset to shocked, her mouth opened in a silent "Oh."

A smile broke across Darien's face, as he moved one hand behind Serena's head, and leaned in to kiss her. Serena leaned into the kiss, and it deepened. Soon they were kissing desperately, tugging at each others clothes. Acting like the world would end tomorrow.


	3. January

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**January:**

Darien adjusted his bow-tie for the thirtieth time in ten minutes, glancing into the mirror once again. He knew that he shouldn't be nervous; wearing a tuxedo wasn't anything different from his everyday outfits, or it wasn't much different. As the crime fighting partner to Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask, Darien wore a Tuxedo in high stress environments when one mistake could end in death. In comparison this should be the easiest thing he had ever done in a Tux.

Darien hissed air between his teeth in frustration; every time he looked into the mirror he thought he looked like an idiot in fancy clothes. What did she see?

"Stop fidgeting!"

Darien looked away from the mirror to see his best friend, Andrew, leaned up against the door. Andrew was a striking counter point to Darien's nervous energy and dark looks; with his blonde hair and green eyes Andrew looked cool and composed in his tux.

"Easy for you to say." Darien muttered. He tugged on the blue silk vest that he wore, and cast a suspicious look at the black jacket hanging on the chair. "I'm going to look bad in that thing. I don't know why I thought a big wedding would be nice, now more people will see me looking like an over-dressed dolt."

Andrew snorted. "You're a big politician now; you can't just get married in private, they would think you were up to something." Andrew smiled, and grabbed Darien's Tuxedo jacket. "Besides, everyone needs to be suitably impressed that you could get a girl like Serena."

Darien slid his arms into the jacket, and glanced into the mirror again. He wasn't even thinking about impressing other people with Serena, he was still shocked that he could get a girl like her.

On the happiest day of his life, Darien's mind shied away from the knowledge that he wasn't going to have much time with his bride. After that night in January, when Serena told him that she was dying, Darien had moved in with her and taken over the wedding plans. He had wanted to move the date up from January to November, but logistically it was impossible.

Last night had been the first time in months that Darien hadn't slept in the same bed as Serena. In fact, they hadn't even been in the same building. He spent an uncomfortable night sleeping on Andrew's couch, worrying that something would happen to his blonde fiancé while he wasn't there.

"Its show time, champ."

Darien buttoned his jacket, and ran his hand through his black hair. "I look okay?"

Andrew smiled. "No one will top you."

"Liar." Darien shoved his best man playfully. "Serena will."

* * *

Serena looked stunning; her white silk wedding dress was beautiful, but this had nothing to do with the dress. The blonde was glowing with happiness as she accepted congratulations from friends and family. 

Darien was worried. Like a beautiful flower, Serena was beginning to wilt. He hated to think of the questions that would arise if Serena collapsed, especially because only her family knew what was going on. In her normal fashion, Serena had been concerned with burdening their friends with news of her illness, and had extracted a promise from Darien that they would await the opportune moment to tell the others.

Darien sighed and slipped his arm around Serena's waist, allowing her to lean on him with out giving the impression that anything was wrong. He was especially wary of the reporters who circled the reception like vultures, hoping for something. Reporters always delighted in drama; if they couldn't have a giant fight between the two newlyweds they would settle for death.

"It's getting late, Bunny."

Serena looked up and smiled. "We should say hello to a few more people." The way she beamed up at him made Darien's heart melt, it would have been enough to make him agree to anything, but he felt the subtle shift as she leaned more of her weight against him.

Darien moved behind Serena, and wrapped both of his arms around her. "Just a few more." He whispered in her ear. Then he raised his voice a little for the benefit of the people around. "Serena forgets that we will see you all again after our honeymoon. She doesn't seem to want to leave."

"Of course, that is just maidenly shyness."

Serena laughed, and smiled at the speaker. "Haruka, I thought I had missed you!"

Haruka Tenou was one of Serena's closest friends. Tall, blonde, blue eyed, and daring Haruka was the perfect racer and had won world wide acclaim. The only problem was that Haruka was a woman in a man's sport. She had developed a wild, abrasive personality and a dry sense of humor but she was a loyal friend. The blonde smiled and ran a hand through her boy cut hair, "I would never skip out on you, Princess."

"Don't be fooled, dear heart, she would have gone racing today if she could have." Haruka's other half, and many would say better half, was an elegant woman named Michiru Kaiou. She had wavy aqua colored hair that fell to her shoulders, fashionably pale skin, and an innate elegance that nothing seemed to dispel. For all of Haruka's wild abandon Michiru was calm, graceful, and precise. It didn't seem like the two women could ever have a successful relationship, but they were the most perfect couple Serena had ever seen. And as the Sailor Scouts of Uranus and Neptune the two women were partners in everything.

Michiru smiled, a touch of sadness in her eyes. "Congratulations, you two; Tokyo will never see a more beautiful couple."

Darien smiled and Serena blushed.

By the age seventeen Michiru was an internationally acclaimed concert violinist; the Tokyo symphony orchestra had stolen the young woman away from the competition, and she continued to be the highest paid violinist in the world. From the moment they met, Serena had envied Michiru's charm, grace, and elegance. The blonde had always dreamed that one day she too would be as poised as Michiru at high caliber social events.

"Everything was amazing."

Michiru's gaze flittered up to Darien's, the masked sadness that he saw in her eyes took him by surprise.

"You should depart now, Serena." Michiru said quietly. "You have a big day ahead of you, I'm sure."

Darien knew that Michiru understood what was going on.

"Enjoy him while you can, Princess."

Haruka's snide remark made Darien tense, as his eyes snapped up to the woman's face.

Did she know? Was she just being cruel?

Darien had never cared for the blonde racer and her opinion of him could scarcely bee seen as better, but the two tolerated each other because Serena cared for them both. Haruka usually used every chance she got to needle and Darien, but he was shocked that she would sink so low.

"Are you ready to leave, Bunny?"

Serena nodded, but didn't move to detach herself from her husband's grasp. It only took Darien a moment to realize that the young blonde's energy was rapidly seeping out, so he gathered her in his arms, white dress and all, and carried her from the room.

* * *

Ami saw them leaving from across the hall. 

She smiled and bid farewell to the group of women she had been speaking with; they were all to busy exclaiming over the couple's romantic exit to notice when the petit doctor moved on.

She exited the reception hall and followed the pair out to the parking lot. "Bunny! Darien!" She called when she was within earshot.

Darien stopped and turned around. "How are you Ami?"

Serena smiled uncertainly at her friend.

They both dreaded what was coming next. She was a doctor. She would know what was going on.

Serena took a breath, trying to steady her racing heart. She had hoped that Ami wouldn't figure it out, the doctor had enough to worry about without the knowledge that her friend was dying to add to the load.

"I noticed that you didn't eat much today, Bunny."

Serena blinked and nodded; the medication that she was on made her queasy, so she had stopped eating foods that were rich or spicy. It made for a very bland diet, especially for a woman who was use to fine dining.

"I've been quiet long enough!" Ami declared, glaring at her friend. "I know what is going on."

For a moment the blonde felt panic, she didn't want people to know. She could deal with the envious looks as she walked down the street, but she didn't know that she could cope with pity. At least Ami wasn't going to make a public scene, this was bad enough.

"Ami, you don't have to..."

A sharp look from the blue haired girl cut Darien off mid sentence. "Since you don't seem to care, I figured that it was my duty to say something."

Serena felt her jaw drop. Ami was always quiet, kind, and considerate; Serena couldn't imagine why she would say something s cruel to a man who had only shown compassion. "What do you mean?"

"He doesn't seem to care that you are starving yourself to death!" Ami exclaimed. "Maybe it suits his political plans to have a paper thin wife, but it won't do him any good when you starve to death! Honestly, Serena, you have to eat! You are starting to look sick!"

Seconds ticked by as a tense silence hung over the trio, and then it was broken. Serena's laugh rang out like a bell chime. She didn't know what else to do, and she was so relieved that Ami had gotten it wrong.

Darien smiled down at his wife, his mind mulling over Ami's statement. The woman was a brilliant doctor, but she had latched on to the idea that Serena was anorexic and not let go. It was probably because the alternatives were too terrible to think of. Darien had to admit that if Serena hadn't told him what was going on he would probably be in the same position as Amy.

"We are working on it, Ams."

Serena smiled at her friend. "I love you, Ami. Thank you for caring."


	4. April

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**April:**

Serena turned her face up to the sun, basking in the warmth, hoping that she could absorb some of the happiness that seemed to permeate the park. "You got my favorite spot!" She exclaimed gleefully.

Darien smiled, and set Serena down on a checkered blanket. "I did." He knew that. He had one of his aids stake out this spot for the last week, waiting for the day when the park would be a pink wonderland, when the cherry blossoms would be in full bloom. Serena's favorite part of the year had always been spring, when the cherry trees turned into clouds of pink flowers. In all likelihood this would be the last year that Serena would see the Cherry blossoms, so she certainly deserved to have a spectacular final viewing party.

"The girls will be here later," Darien said as he sat down on the blanket. "And lunch will be here at noon, but we have all day to enjoy this."

Serena sighed, and wrapped her arms around Darien. "I love you."

Every time she said those three words Darien felt a pang in his heart; how was it fair that their life together could be cut so tragically short, when they had always assumed that they would be together for years. He had seen the future. He had seen their future, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to believe that everything would turn out alright with the present staring him in the face.

The present was pain. It was watching Serena's steady decline, seeing her pain, being unable to help her. It was knowing what was coming.

The present meant a future without the love of his life.

Darien leaned closer to kiss Serena's forehead. "I know." He said playfully. The least he could do was pretend that they were a normal couple. "Did you make a decision yet?"

He felt her nod.

"What are you going to do?"

In the middle of a public park, teeming with people who were busy rejoicing in the beauty of the flowers, it seemed as though there were only two people with silence stretching between them.

"I'll tell them... Today."

Darien nodded, he had been uncomfortable with the idea that their friends wouldn't know what was going on but in the end it was Serena's life that would change. Her friends would be the ones looking at her with pity and treating her like glass. Her friends would be the ones spending hours worrying.

It was her decision.

"You are right, I can't protect them forever." She bit her lip.

If she was completely honest with herself, Serena knew that as much as she wanted to protect her friends from the pain and worry she also wanted to protect herself. No, she didn't want to trouble anyone; she didn't want her friends to spend extra time worrying about her. Most of all, she didn't want to see that sad clouded look in her friends eyes when they looked at her. It was bad enough that Michiru knew, but when the others knew it would be unbearable.

"It is the right decision, Bunny."

Again Serena merely nodded, lost in thought.

Since January Serena had attended only a handful of Thursday afternoon lunches with her friends, each one more awkward than the last. Fire hearted Raye Kumada, Tokyo's darkly beautiful temple mistress, always brought up Serena's absence. Raye was unforgiving, claiming that life in the spotlight had expanded the air in Serena's little blonde head. Long ago, Serena had perfected a graceful, repentant look that would appease her friend; the look had been getting a lot of practice lately.

Raye's fiery accusations were a relief when compared with Ami's sullen silence. The young doctor had spoken a scarce handful of words to Serena in the past months. Once Serena had been Ami's preferred confidant; so the abrupt change in status was quite a blow, and not something that went unnoticed.

And there were the others; quiet, questioning, and disapproving. But it was better that they be angry.

It had to be better.

"Are you scared?"

Serena startled Darien, by breaking the silence. He blinked at her, considering lying. He could just say "No." It should be easy.

He was the strong one. He was the one who protected her. Why wasn't it easy?

"Yes."

She let out a deep breath, "Me too."

Darien rested his head on Serena's. "I never imagined that I could have life without you. I always thought that I would go first; that I would go down protecting you or Reeny."

Serena nodded, her breath catching at the thought of the pink pigtailed imp that she would never have as a daughter. "I wanted a fight."

It was ironic that they had both believed that they would die fighting, but perhaps that was only a product of the lives they lead. Serena had always known that one day she would come up against a fight that she couldn't win; she had just never thought that it would be so soon. She had thought she would have children, grow old, and fight the good fight.

"You had one." Darien squeezed Serena's hands, "You have one."

* * *

"Come take a walk with me, Bunny." 

Serena looked up at her friend, Mina. "I can't right now Mina." She said with a slightly sad smile.

Mina Furuhata was a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty who turned more heads now than she ever had when she was younger. She had been an actress on Japanese TV for several years, but when she married Darien's best friend she had moved on to become a house wife. Now she was several months pregnant with her first child.

"Walking is good for you Bunny; my doctor said so, so it must be true." Mina winked at her friend. "And I just ate so much food that if I don't get up and walk around my baby is going to be obese before it even gets into the world."

Lita Kino looked up from her space on the blanket. "I would hate to be the cause of your child's weight issues." She said with a smile. Lita was a professional chef who owned her own restaurant, and she had catered the group's meal for the Cherry Blossom Viewing Party.

"I would love to, but I can't."

Mina shrugged, and lowered herself onto the blanket with some effort. "Then it will be your fault when I have a fat baby." She winked at her pigtailed friend, "Andrew will never forgive you."

"He'll get over it." Serena laughed softly, and tried to hide the involuntary cringe. She was acutely aware that today was not turning out to be a particularly good day for her, medically. She was already exhausted, and she was starting to experience a little pain.

"Why don't you take a nap, Bunny?"

Neither of the two women noticed Serena's slightly pained expression, when she covered her cringe with a smile. Darien had seen it, though. He was always there, making sure that she was alright. "I'll get you a pain pill, and then you can take a nap. Tell the girls what is going on when you are feeling better." He knelt down behind Serena, and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

Mina and Lita threw quizzical looks toward Darien, not certain what was going on, but he was completely absorbed in his wife.

Serena shook her head. "I'm fine, Darien." Even as she said it, Serena felt herself sagging against Darien's broad chest; borrowing his strength yet again.

His blue eyes darted towards Lita and Mina; the two women were intent on the checkered blanket as the pretended not to listen. He dropped is voice, "You aren't fine! Today is a bad day, I can see it on your face and in the way you fight so hard not to let me know."

Serena was still shaking her head, her expression setting in determination.

"You have time Bunny, they don't have to find out now." Darien's voice was coming out harsh, but his eyes were overflowing with emotion. "They don't even have to find out today."

A hand rested lightly on Darien's shoulder. "Let her tell them, she can sleep once everyone has had their say."

Serena tilted her head to smile gratefully up at her aqua haired friend; she knew that she didn't have the strength to fight with Darien on this issue, and apparently so did Michiru.

"I'll go fetch the others." Michiru lifted her hand from Darien's shoulder and glided off, her white skirt flowing around her.

Lita and Mina watched, mesmerized, as Darien and Serena lapsed into a tight silence. Neither woman could imagine what was going on between the couple. The women's minds jumped between worst case scenarios and joyful news, contemplating and discarding every idea.

The young architect closed her eyes and leaned back against her husband's chest, trying to take comfort in his closeness and steal herself to do what needed to be done. She had chosen today. She had chosen now.

The blonde had thought long and hard about how she would tell her friends, and how they would react. Raye would be angry to cover her pain; in a public park she couldn't make a big scene. Serena was less worried about herself then she was about her fiery friend. A huge outburst from Raye couldn't hurt Serena, but the temple mistress would regret it for years to come. That had to be avoided.

Haruka would be angry as well, but she would take her anger out on Michiru; claiming that the violinist had no faith or trust. Michiru would, of course, be hurt by such an accusation. She may be a highly independent, successful woman but if Haruka had an outburst Michiru would walk around looking like a wounded puppy for weeks.

Aside from Haruka and Raye's reactions, Serena was most worried about Ami. Ami was an exceptional doctor, so Serena could only guess at why she had yet to reach the right conclusion. Serena's fear was that Ami would be unable to move around the shock, and would retreat from the world as she had tried to do many years ago.

A deep breath swished from Serena's lungs in a heartfelt sigh. She had also chosen to tell her friends today because she hoped that some of the day's joy would dull the pain. She knew that they all leaned on her, more than they would like to admit. Serena's friends would feel as though their legs were being cut out from under them, what Serena really needed for them was the emotional equivalent of endorphins. Or morphine.

Why couldn't she be fourteen again?

For perhaps the thousandth time Serena wished that she would just wake up and find out that it was all a dream; that she wouldn't have to deal with it.

But it wasn't a dream. She would be gone with in the next year, and she had to be certain that her friends would not suffer for her.

"Open your eyes, Princess. The gang is all here."

* * *

Serena woke up, her mind buzzing. She had a design that she just had to get out onto paper. The blonde slowly moved her husband's arms from around her, careful not to wake him. 

She stood up and smiled down at Darien, he looked so handsome with the moonlight playing across his chest. Gently, Serena reached down to brush some hair out of his face. Then she wandered off toward her studio, desperate to get the design on paper.

It struck her in the living room.

She stumbled, suddenly dizzy, and feeling sick. She put out one arm, to steady herself against the couch, and felt horror as it gave under her weight.

She flung her other arm out, not even registering the pain as she knocked an antique lamp off balance.

It shattered on the floor.

She fell forward, hitting her head on the coffee table.

By the time she hit the ground she was unconscious.

* * *

_This is me! Thanks for all the positive feed back, I hope this chapter didn't dissapoint. I was originally planning on only having one more chapter after this, but I've decided that there need to be two. So... I'm almost done. Please R&R.  
_


	5. July, again

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**July:**

Darien walked into the hospital, a bouquet of red roses, a stuffed bunny, and a brown paper package in his arms. Serena had been in and out of the hospital since April, so the nurses knew him by now. He was the man who came to see his wife every day after work, and brought her a stuffed bunny every week.

Privately the nurses all thought that Darien and Serena Sheilds had one of the most tragically romantic stories that they had ever seen. Darien's loving relationship with his wife was increasing his popularity across the city, and he wasn't aware of it. In fact, he would have been appalled to be benefiting from his wife's suffering.

"Mr. Sheilds!"

Darien nodded to a plump nurse with dusty red hair. "How is she today Peggie?"

"Oh you brought her a bunny! You know she just loves these things to death?"

Darien took it as a bad sign that the nurse was avoiding telling him about Serena. If she was doing well Peggie would bounce up and immediately tell him how lucky he was to have come today, that Serena was in a rare state and looking spectacular. If Serena was doing poorly the woman would simply shake her head and say "It is nothing she can't handle, you've got one fighter on your hands Mr. Sheilds." Today must be bad.

"I hope she likes this bunny. I went to a lot of trouble to get it." The rabbit in question was Darien's favorite yet; it was a white rabbit that wore a pink silk kimono with silver birds embroidered on it.

"It is a beauty." Peggie smiled a bit. "I'll run and fetch the doctor for you."

Darien felt his heart plummet; he usually talked to the doctor on Tuesdays, but today was a Friday. Serena had been doing well on Tuesday, or as well as could be expected. She had been steadily declining for the past four months, but the doctor said that she could still live another year.

Darien sat down heavily in a hard chair in the hall, he was afraid to peak through the door into Serena's room.

What if she had died without him there? What if she had died alone and scared, with just the cold professional comfort that could be found in a hospital? Would she think he had abandoned her?

After a few minutes of sitting there, staring blankly ahead, someone tapped Darien on the shoulder. Darien bounced up, desperate for good news.

"Doctor Icheda!"

The doctor smiled sadly at Darien, the doctor hated to quash the desperate hope that he saw in the young man's eyes. "Mr. Sheilds, I'm afraid that your wife has taken a turn for the worst."

Darien wouldn't have thought it was possible, but his heart fell further. "But..." He couldn't think of anything to say.

"She is one of the most calm and kind women that I have had the pleasure to meet. Even when she is in pain she always has a smile and a kind word for the people around her." The doctor patted Darien's arm. "It is so sad that she will die so young."

Darien nodded dumbly; he didn't hear half of the complementary things that the Doctor said about Serena. "How long?" He finally choked out.

Somehow, over the past nine months he had never let himself completely believe that Serena would die; there had always been a part of him that revolted at the idea. That part of him had stubbornly held fast to the idea that Serena would make a remarkable recovery, that he would walk into the hospital one day to see her standing there ready to go home. Now, hearing it from the doctor made it all too painfully real.

"Soon. This week, probably. Maybe next week."

Darien nodded and pulled out his cell phone, hitting speed dial for his assistant. "Hello, Reagan."

"Hello Mr. Sheilds, what can I do for you?"

Darien paused for a moment, his eyes glazed over. "Cancel everything I have for the next two weeks. I won't be coming in to work, and I don't want any calls forwarded to my cell phone. Even if the world is about to end and the only way to save it is for me to take a call, it is not important enough."

"Yes sir."

"Good. I'll talk to you in two weeks."

Doctor Icheda blinked at Darien. "What are you going to do?"

It took Darien a moment to focus his eyes on the Doctor. "If you have to ask me that, then you have obviously never been in love."

* * *

"Good morning, Baby." 

A smile slowly spread across Serena's face. "I love you." She murmured, not even opening her eyes.

"Do you feel up to visitors?"

Serena nodded. "Do I look okay?"

She felt the side of the bed sink as Darien sat next to her, and took one hand in his. "You look like an angel." He murmured as he bent down to kiss her forehead.

In reality Serena looked like a ghost of herself. Darien knew that her friends would be shocked when they saw her, but he didn't have the heart to tell them that they shouldn't come. He would simply have to warn the girls that Serena looked bad. Well, she was entitled wasn't she? She was dying after all.

"Liar."

Darien laughed. "You look beautiful, because you have a smile on your face and the kindest heart I've ever seen." He bent down to kiss Serena's forehead again, only to meet her lips instead.

She felt his smile grow as they kissed.

When Darien drew away Serena's eyes were open, still big blue and enchanting even when she was going through hell. "For a politician, you are a terrible liar." She said with a mischievous grin.

Darien shrugged. "My life in politics had one purpose, and it has been served." He plucked at the lapel of Serena's pajamas. "All I had to do was convince the doctor to stop insisting that you wear that silly hospital gown." He had purchased the pink bunny pajamas on a trip a month before Serena had entered the hospital, and they were the first thing that the blonde had demanded from home. "You can at least be dressed decently."

Serena smiled and leaned up against her husband's chest, listening to laughter bubble up in him as he teased her. She knew that he was trying to be strong for her, but she also knew that he needed to pretend that they would go on forever. She sighed and closed her eyes, tired again after just a few minutes.

"Did you talk to Doctor Icheda?"

The only answer Serena received was Darien's arms tightening involuntarily around her, as though he could just hold her there forever. It was all the answer that she needed to confirm that Darien knew the bad news. "I want to go home."

"Then I'll take you home."

* * *

_There is just one chapter to go. For those of you who where upset that I didn't write about Serena telling her friends that she has cancer I would recomend that you hold you horses... You'll get it, even if it is not in the way that you thought you would. And as always, I hope you liked this chapter. Please read and review. - LS  
_


	6. August

**My Worst Fear**

I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of the characters, and all that fun stuff.

**August:**

Serena turned her face upward so that the filtered light of the sun dappled her face through the leaves of the trees. She took a deep breath, rejoicing in the action and celebrating the feel of her lungs filling to bursting. It wasn't that the air was different; it wasn't cleaner, fresher, or more crisp. It didn't have a different feel, taste, or smell. It was air. But somehow, to the blonde it was different. To her the air was special, because air in New York had to be different from the air in Tokyo.

Darien was reclined on a park bench, watching his wife with a sense of awe. Was it possible that she was more beautiful here than she had ever been before? He smiled, wondering what other marvels New York City held. He had already decided that the eighth wonder of the word should be the way that Serena's hair caught the sunlight so that it looked like she had a halo.

Halo?

Darien shook his head, trying to clear away the touch of terror that had sprung into his mind. What would he have done if Serena had died?

He had taken her home from the hospital late last month, expecting that they wouldn't be together in August... But it was August, and they were in New York, celebrating life. Darien wasn't precisely certain what had happened, but Serena had made a remarkable recovery and for that he was grateful.

He tried to memorize the rapturous look on his wife's face.

Oh God was he grateful!

She spun around; arms flung wide, face upturned, laughing, and practically glowing with happiness. She was still thin and pale, but she no longer looked like a wraith. In fact, with the return of her insatiable appetite, Serena had been gaining back the weight she had lost at a rapid clip.

Her weight wasn't the only thing that was returning. She had a lively sparkle back in her eye. She had a healthy glow to her pale skin. She had a lovely sheen to her blonde hair. Serena was coming back.

"Lets get some ice cream."

Darien grinned at the blonde; her incurable sweet tooth had also returned. "We haven't even had lunch yet."

Laughing, Serena looked even more beautiful. Darien would have mourned the chiming harmony of her laugh for all of eternity.

"So we'll have ice cream for lunch... and sandwiches for a snack." Her blue eyes sparkled. "Come on Baby, let's misbehave."

How had he ever said no to that?

"You win." He held his arms up to signal his defeat, not taking his eyes off of Serena. Darien was absolutely mesmerized by the joy in his wife's face; he was so in love with her.

"There is a vendor back this way." Serena began to skip off before Darien had risen from the bench.

Darien felt panic rising in his chest as he watched the blonde skip off. Why was he so worried? She wasn't going to disappear. She wasn't going to die.

Dead.

"Bunny!" He heard the desperation in his voice, it sounded so obvious surely she heard it too. "Bunny!"

The lithe figure on the path turned, swaying in the shadows like a nymph. "Just wait there, I'll get it." She smiled, mischief playing over her features. "Don't worry Darling, I won't run off without you." She teased him playfully.

She started to turn, but he couldn't let her go. "Let's go together."

Serena shrugged, "Then hurry up."

"I just can't stand to be without you, Angel."

Angel?

"I'm always with you, Darien." The teasing in her eyes had evaporated, leaving Darien to drown in their somber blue depths.

They stood silently on the path as he struggled against the unbearable sense of loss that had welled up in his chest. What would he do without her?

Darien tore his eyes away from his wife's; he had to be strong. "Let's go get that ice cream."

He lifted one arm to wrap around Serena's slim shoulders and pull her close to his side. Where his arm should have touched the smooth soft flesh of her shoulder there was nothing. Nothing.

Suddenly the loss, the grief, and the pain came crashing back to him.

Darien pulled back with a start.

For a moment he was disoriented, struggling against the blanket and the knowledge that came with waking up. Then he remembered where he was. He remembered the last few weeks.

He had fallen asleep in a chair in their bedroom. In her room, first and foremost. Everything about the room spoke of Serena's impeccable taste and style; everything about the room mourned her loss. It was as though all of the joy and beauty of the room had been slowly sucked out, and what was left was a cold shell.

Darien sat there, in the darkness, staring at the bed. He had tried sleeping in it once after Serena had passed on, but it had hardly been what one would call restful. He would wake up, not knowing why, until he realized that he had rolled over expecting to pull Serena's form close to his. She wasn't there.

Tears coursed down Darien's cheeks; he felt as though some one had carved out his heart and replaced it with cold, dark, heavy iron. How do you survive losing half of yourself?

He stood, and began to pace restlessly around the apartment. Part of him wanted nothing more than to sell it so that he could move on and live in a place that didn't remind him of what he had lost. Part of him hated the idea of leaving behind all of the beautiful memories that were the only remainders of his true love. Part of him wanted to vent his grief in anger, to break things. Part of him wanted to curl up and die. But all of him mourned.

Darien paused at the doorway to Serena's studio.

There were so many times that he had walked into this apartment to find the radio blaring some strange, annoyingly happy, American music. Serena would always be in her studio, dancing around and singing at the top of her lungs with all of the lights on. Darien could almost see her now, a smudge of ink on her nose and a pencil shoved over one ear.

He moved on, but a few minutes later he was back at the doorway.

After he moved in Darien had hired a maid, to help Serena out. When she was younger Serena had been a slob, but once she purchased and decorated her apartment Serena had been meticulous about keeping it perfect. The only room in the apartment that could be seen as messy was the studio, but Serena had quickly forbidden the maid to touch the room.

Now there was something that prevented Darien from entering the room. He felt as though he would disturb something, what he didn't know. Just something. At the same time he was drawn to the room, to see what Serena had been so desperately trying to get out of her head in the last few weeks of her life. He was drawn to her passion, her disarray, and who she was in this room when no one was watching.

Tentatively, Darien stepped through the doorway, feeling like a thief in the night. He walked though the room glancing at designs for houses and office buildings, amazed by the grace and imagination that had gone into many of the designs. There was the house that Serena had designed for her brother, there was an apartment complex that was already under construction, there was a shopping center, there was a house that she had designed around a fountain, and here...

Darien's breath caught in his chest.

On the desk was a stack of designs houses, shops, and office buildings all designed with a crystalline structure. On the top of the stack was a building that Darien had seen once in his life, but he recognized it in a second. It was the Crystal palace that would one day stand in the center of Tokyo; well, once he had thought it would stand in the center of Tokyo. He knew now that it was impossible for that to happen; Serena was dead, so there could be no Crystal Tokyo.

Grief struck again. Darien slammed his fist down on the table. Why was fate so cruel as to remind him that he would never have the life he had once seen? He wouldn't have a pink haired nymph for a daughter, he wouldn't live in a palace with Serena until the end of their days, he wouldn't even suffer when the Dark Moon Kingdom attacked.

Darien grabbed his keys and his wallet. He couldn't stay there now. There was only way he could get the future out of his head. There was only one way to forget the past. There was only one way to not feel the future.

He was going to get drunk.

* * *

Michiru looked around, amazed at how one building could be so different from place to place. The walls were the same sterile white; the lighting was the same florescent white. Everything was the same, and yet it was so very different. 

She smiled at the pink haired attendant who walked toward her. "Miss Kaiou?"

Aqua waves bobbed up and down as Michiru nodded. "Yes."

The attendant looked relieved. "I'm so glad. This one is so cute, but for some reason no one wants her." She shook her head. "I would think that they would be dying to adopt a little American girl."

"Well she isn't an American girl."

"It is true enough that she was born here, so I guess technically she is Japanese, but she'll grow up to be a blonde haired blue eyed beauty like her parents."

The maternity ward smelt of life, not death. The air was full of hope and promise instead of death and sickness. Michiru was amazed that the hospital could be so different from one wing to the next.

* * *

Serena Sheilds had been honored as a loyal friend, loving wife, talented professional, and an excellent character. People mourned her loss, sorry to see such a promising girl taken from the world at an early age. They were sorry, but they couldn't understand that the world had lost more than a kind hearted architect. 

Privately her friends remembered someone that the rest of the world did not know they had lost. Raye Kumada had opened her favorite room in the temple so that the women who protected the city could remember their friend, and leader.

"I don't think they are coming, Darien."

"We didn't part on the best of terms, I guess." Darien shrugged, and pushed away from the wall. Ami, Mina, Lita, and Raye were already there; the only people who were missing were the Sailor Scouts from the outer planets. He had hoped that Haruka and Michiru would come to remember Serena. Personally, he had never gotten along with Haruka, but Serena would have liked the two women to be here. Darien sighed.

The last time he had talked to Michiru he had been angry, and drunk. He had been brutal to the violinist. While Michiru's reaction had been shocked but kind, Haruka had reacted with equally cruel words. Honestly, Darien couldn't blame Haruka; if the tables had been turned he doubted that Haruka would have escaped with a wounded ego.

"Why don't we go inside?" Ami recommended, meekly. "If they do decide to come I'm sure they will be able to find us."

"I don't think it is much of a loss." Raye had never been a fan of either Haruka Tenou or Michiru Kaiou, but her negative feelings toward Michiru had only escalated since April.

Part of Darien felt badly for Michiru.

As the Sailor Scout of Neptune Michiru had an innate connection with the sea, and she possessed the Aqua Mirror; she had learned earlier that Serena was dying because of the connection between the Ocean and the Moon. Michiru had been the only person, besides Serena, who had known how things would transpire for months before they occurred.

Darien thought back to his conversation with Michiru from that fateful day in April, when Serena informed the girls that she had cancer. He had been angry that Michiru had over ridden his advice to Serena, thinking it would have been better for the blonde to rest.

"Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to tell her what to do? She is dying for God's sake!" Even now, Darien could almost see the tears welling up in Michiru's aqua eyes.

"I know."

"She needed rest! Why did you have to interfere? She'll never get rest now!"

"Please, Darien, walk further away. She'll hear you."

He had been enraged, what made this woman think that he didn't want Serena to hear? Honestly he thought it would be better if she heard his anger, he had really wanted to take Serena in his arms and shake some sense into her. No, he had just been scared. He had just wanted to hold her and pretend it would be alright. He couldn't have done either, so he yelled at the only person he could blame.

"She doesn't want people to hurt for her, so let her think she has succeeded." Michiru's hand had rested hesitantly on his arm as she led him away. She was like a frightened bird, ready to take flight at any moment. "Come away."

Looking back, Darien was ashamed at the way he had treated Michiru. She had done so much to help. And now her words played through his head like a broken record. Why couldn't he take it back?

"The Ocean told me the Moon was dying... But she made me promise not to say anything, not even to Haruka. She didn't want anyone to worry. So I worried alone. We will all fall apart without her; she is the kind heart that ties us all together." Michiru had suffered months of pain, of worry. No one had understood that she did it all for them.

"When did you find out?"

"July."

All he could think was that it was four months before him. Four months. An eternity. "Bitch."

Why couldn't he take it back?

Raye had blamed her too. Ami, Lita, Mina, and even Haruka. They were all people who had spent their lives fighting; coming up against something they couldn't fight was something none of them could handle. They had all felt betrayed, because they couldn't stand to feel lost. They had all felt anger, because they couldn't stand to feel pain. Michiru hadn't had the luxury of anger, but she had felt the pain ten fold.

He hoped that Haruka had gotten over it.

"Let's go inside." Lita's voice pulled Darien out of his reverie, but it couldn't quite eradicate Michiru's voice.

"She didn't want anyone to worry. So I worried alone."

"Bitch."

They walked out of the courtyard into the traditional Japanese room, sliding the door closed on the sunny day outside. Tears sprung immediately to their eyes as they saw the little alter that Raye had set up. There were pink lilies, stargazer lilies, calla lilies, and white lilies in piles around a cherry shrine that held pictures of Serena and news articles about Sailor Moon.

"We are here to remember a woman who has changed our lives and made us who we are today." Raye began. "She has always put other people before her, even when she was younger." The temple mistress smiled even as tears clouded her vision. "I use to think that she never had any idea of how serious situations were, but she always knew... I think she even knew better than we did, but she..." Her voice broke. "She didn't want us to know and be scared. She was always there for us, before we knew we needed her there."

Darien thought back to the way Serena had mustered her strength to tell her friends the bad news. Yes, she had been a pillar of strength even as she walked hand and hand with death. Had Serena had a pillar of strength? More importantly, who would be their rock, now that she was gone?

"Ladies, I want to start by telling you that I love you. I know that you have all been worried about me, and I'm sorry that I caused you pain. I suppose that I wanted to save you from the future, but the future has a funny way of rushing toward you even when you try to hold it back."

Raye was still speaking. Darien clung to the present as he tried to dispel Serena's voice from his head, but it seemed as though he would live for all eternity with the cheery blonde's voice playing though his head. He struggled to listen. "She broke us free of our shells..."

People say that your eyes are the windows to your soul, but no one ever believes it until they see a person with pain in their eyes.

Ami sniffed loudly, drawing Darien's eyes to meet hers.

The look that passed between the blue eyed doctor and the dark politician spoke more of their feelings that a thousand words ever could. It was overflowing with grief and pain. It spoke of memories long passed, and dreams that would never be. Most of all, it showed Serena's words spinning through their souls.

"Don't blame yourself, Ami. You are the most amazing doctor that I have ever met, but there isn't anything you could have done. One day you will find the cure for cancer, but even you can't change what is past. So live each day in a way that will make me proud; with plenty of laughter, love, and a little bit of adventure. Sing at the top of your lungs when no one can hear, dance when no one can see, and every now and then promise me that you will do something crazy. Think of it as the most important test of your life."

Ami broke her eyes away from Darien's. They both knew what she was thinking. It had been hard enough to live outside of her shell with Serena around. It just seemed like too much to think of living that way without Serena's gentle teasing to prod the young doctor into life. For the first time Ami was convinced that she couldn't pass a test.

How do you apologize for failing?

"She convinced us that we were worth more that even we imagined."

Mina felt a twinge in her chest as Raye's words resonated inside of her.

"Don't cry Mina! We both know that with me gone you will be the most beautiful woman on the earth." Serena's attempt at humor had died, as her eyes took on a serious cast. "You are beautiful, Mina. But that's not it; that has never been everything there is to you. You are smart, talented, and loving. You have a sense of what is right and what is wrong. You follow your heart. You are one of the truest friends that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I'm sure that if you should decide that you no longer want to be a housewife you will be able to do anything you want. Decide what you want and do it, no one will blame you for it."

A sob caught in Mina's throat. She had always been just another pretty face, there had only been one person who believed in her. Now the one person with unwavering faith was gone. She didn't think she could believe in herself when no one else did.

How do you apologize for failing some one?

"She saw us as good people even when the rest of the world shied away because of idle gossip."

Lita's forced smile wavered as she tried to wipe tears from her eyes with out anyone noticing. When she had first come to Tokyo she had been the mystery that inspired cruel gossip; it hadn't helped anything that she was gangly and awkward.

"I know you aren't going to cry here. You like people to think you are too tough to cry, but its okay if you need to. Crying is a relief to your soul, like when your heart overflows and it needs to drain out your eyes. Don't bottle all of that emotion up, that's how you become bitter and withdrawn. Don't go back to that; let it out. It feels good, and no one will think less of you for it."

Serena had always been the shoulder that Lita cried on; the blonde was just so kind and not judgmental. Serena had always sat there, quietly smoothing her friend's brown hair and whispering reassuringly, letting Lita cry for as long as she needed.

The brunette clenched her fists, her nails dug into the soft flesh of her palms. She tried to hold herself straight and tall, to not bend under the weight of her grief because that is what she always did. She couldn't cry; there was no one to cry to. She couldn't cry, she couldn't be weak.

How do you apologize for failing someone who is gone?

Raye took a deep breath, struggling to finish the speech that she had written, but the last sentence stuck in her throat. All she had wanted to do since Serena's death was to curl up and die. With a violent temperament and a quick temper Raye had always seemed to play the part of foil to Serena's loving personality. Serena was honest and innocent, Raye was jaded and covered her feelings with sarcasm and anger. What is a foil without its other half?

"She..." Raye's voice broke, and she wiped at her eyes, plopping down on the tatami mats. "I... I'm sorry you guys. I can't."

So they sat. Every eye in the room was downcast, in every heart a different litany played, every mind remembered a woman who had thought more of everyone in the world than she had thought of herself. She had believed, and so they had believed.

"Death and rebirth."

They looked up, startled, to see Haruka and Michiru and two other women stepping through the sliding door.

"Those things are too quiet." Raye grumbled.

Mina cast a withering look toward Raye before she rose to greet the four women with a degree of coldness. "Hotaru, Setsuna, we haven't seen you two in a while. I take it you have heard the news." Her eyes turned to coldly take in Michiru and Haruka. "We didn't think you were coming.

Hotaru was a sixteen year old with violet eyes and jet black hair that she kept cut short and straight. Without the startling eyes Hotaru would have been the epitome of classic Japanese beauty, as it was she looked exotic. She had been raised by Michiru, Haruka, and Setsuna. Now, Mina noticed that the young woman's eyes were cold enough to freeze water. It was a pity that she was so loyal to Michiru.

The green haired olive skinned woman next to Haruka was Setsuna Meiou, she had once been a prominent fashion designer in Tokyo but she had disappeared several years earlier. In her mid thirties she was older than any of the women in the room.

"What were you saying Hotaru, dear?"

"Death and rebirth." Hotaru smirked, her violet eyes scornful. "Did you honestly believe that one day you were all living your lives as princesses and the next you were school girls in Tokyo? Why would you remember your life before?"

"Hotaru."

"Michiru-mama, it's absurd. And they are blaming you because they are too stupid to understand."

Michiru shook her head, "That's not why they blame me. And it is not your place."

Hotaru glared at the women in the room. "How many lives have been lived between then and now? How many lives will be lived before crystal Tokyo?"

"What Hotaru is trying to say, is that there will always be a Moon Princess and she will always be the soul mate of the Prince of the Earth." Michiru rested one hand on Hotaru's shoulder, gently restraining the young woman. Her other arm was busy holding on to a bundle of blankets. "We came to remember Serena with the people who loved her."

Mina felt her friends gathering behind her; she knew that Raye, Lita, and Ami would be behind her if she decided to throw the other women out. The only problem was that she saw Haruka, Setsuna, and Hotaru drawing themselves up ready to fight. Mina wasn't an idiot and knew that in a fair fight the women across the room would win, and with their loyalty being questioned they weren't likely to fight fair.

A glance at Darien showed him to be sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. He would be no help.

The tension in the room was almost palpable as it crackled between the two groups. At the center of it all Michiru stood smiling calmly, she lifted her hand from Hotaru's shoulder and began to fuss at the pink blanket in her arms.

For some reason Mina felt intrigued; pink was not Michiru's color, and the violinist was always keenly aware of how she looked. Why would she be carrying a pink blanket that clashed with her black suit and turquoise shirt?

Mina took a startled step backward when the bundle in Michiru's arms let out a gargled squawk and began to wriggle. The tension in the room shattered, leaving two groups of women blinking in surprise as they relaxed.

"Wha... What is that?" Raye asked incredulously.

Mina watched, enthralled, as Darien rose to his feet the first smile that she had seen in weeks spreading across his face.

"Death and rebirth." Darien's was awestruck as he approached the group at the door.

One elegant hand pulled the pink blanket down. "Yes." Michiru said with a quiet smile on her face. "Don't worry, Darien. This is not the end, it is only the beginning."

* * *

_So thats the end. I don't know if I am really satisfied with the very end of it... I feel like I should be able to do better, but I think I may have left you all hanging for too long while I wrote this. It did end up being longer than I planned. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed it. Please reveiw. Let me know if I should rewrite the end, starting where the outers show up. -LS  
_


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